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Now for something completely different

February 5, 20202 min readen
Royce Shook

Royce Shook

Transition to Retrement

Now for something completely different

The following are from Church signs found on the Net, Enjoy

Do Not criticize your wife's judgement--see whom she married

Now is a good time to visit our Pastor is on Vacation

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer GOD

Jesus is coming hopefully before the election

We are still open between Christmas and Easter

Lent is coming get your Ash in Church

The fact there is a highway to hell and a staircase to heaven, says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers

God did not create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close

Don’t give up, Moses was a basket case

Adam and Eve, the first people to not read the Apple Terms and Conditions

What happens in Vegas, is forgiven here

Jesus is coming, look busy.

God shows no favourites, but our sign guy does, “Go Cubs”

Noah was a brave man to sail in a wooden boat with two termites

Don’t let worries kill you, let the church help.

Too hot to keep changing this sign, Sin Bad, Jesus good, details inside

What is missing from CH-CH?

A Perv, a Con artist and a fascist walk into a bar. The bartender says what will it be Mr. President?

Honk if you love Jesus, Text while driving if you want to meet him

Staying in bed, Sunday morning and yelling “Oh God” does not constitute going to church.

I was hooked on the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around

Not believing in Hell does not put the fire out

Moses was the first person with a tablet to download data from the Cloud.

Lord help us to be the kind of people our dogs think we are

How do we make holy water? We boil the hell out of it.

Sermon: What is Hell? Come hear our pianist

If cats could text you, they would not.


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