Chili con carne...

When I did arrived in US…around 1986 …I was like 22 years old. Coming from a Spanish educational system where you take a language of your choice…and I took French….my English knowledge was limited to a few lines from songs….Beatles…Eric Clapton …Neil Diamond…you know…

Nevertheless… I had the will to stay and work in US. So I landed a job as a busboy in a Mexican restaurant…working under the “wings “of a Mexican waiter. All the orders he gave me were in Spanish ...and every time a customer told me anything …anything …I would set a dumb face and run looking for Pancho. So it was relatively easy to go along. Relatively

…Someday I would explain the main differences between Spanish language from Spain…and Spanish language from anywhere else…and no…nope...it´s not the same …trust me…

Anyway...back to focus… A few days later …tired of serving water, chips and salsa. I told Pancho that I needed to make more money. He told me that as a busboy I will always depend on the share of the tips the waiter decide to give me…

Back in the kitchen that night. A few waiters were talking about the openings jobs for waiters in a restaurant far away from there. Well… It happened that such place was near to the apartment I was living in…in a motel…one of those motels were soldiers keep their girlfriends waiting all week waiting for the weekend permit …while they stay in the headquarters.

…Someday I would explain how dangerous is “living “in those motels…with swimming pools…and “lonely “girlfriends …in sunny California…and is dangerous…trust me.

So the next day off…I went to that Restaurant ...and lied. I did lied like a madman in order to get that job. Manager told me that in the beginning I would be working in the cocktail area.

Serving drinks and appetizers. Well. Didn’t look so bad. Guess that “Dos X´s “and “nachos “and margaritas won’t get me in any problem.

So I went home…and spent the next four hours laying in the bed in that motel…looking at the ceiling…that fan…and concentrating…”I have to make money”….I have to make money….was my “mantra”.

Then at 19:30 I was ready for rock and roll….with my white shirt….my bowtie…and the apron…

I did walked in the kitchen and the assistant manager…Mexican…told me where the appetizers station was…indicated me the different tiny bowl’s for the salsa and guacamole…and how to place the orders in that sort of mill with “ tweezers” where the cooks started yelling each other’s every time you put an order.

About prices was not a problem. All the orders were placed in a computer. With tiny emoticons….nah…icons…where you see the dish picture. And automatically the item and the price was set on the account. So …piece of cake.

Night began pretty well…people were arriving in groups and I was running like a madman from the kitchen to the bar. I was getting lots of tips and people were drinking lots of beers…the busboy….because I had a “ busboy” for myself was called Lupe…and he just arrived from some place in Mexico…his English was even more restricted than mine…so we got along pretty well.

..A couple of hours in the battle….I saw the main manager…Edward…looking at me with an angry look. Two fat fingers made a motion like a meaty hook…Something like c´mere you bastard…

So I went there….man …I was happy. I had like 150 dollars in my pocket…and they were all tips…What a night…and he wasn’t even 10 P.M.

Eddie….grabbed me by the neck….lead me to the kitchen…and screamed….Why in hell dishwasher dude is telling me that you are using all the big bowls…

…Big bowls…??? I’d replied with my dumb face?.

Yessss… big bowl s…screamed Eddie….

Well…that s how I do serve the chili con carne…the special offer.

Yes...we have a special offer….Beer plus a bowl of chili con carne for 3.95 $ . But there supposed to be served in the tiny ones….like the ones for salsa.

No …No…Eddie…you don’t understand… they are all asking for the Super bowl offer…the one in the sign at the door.

…Wait….you are serving chili con carne in the big bowls??? .....laser rays were coming out from his eyes and burning my forehead…

…Well of course….¡¡¡ tsk tsk ¡¡¡¡…super bowls …is on the sign…tonight beer plus chili con carne 3.95 $. I told him rolling my eyes up. Tsk tsk ¡¡¡¡

                                      "COME YOU ALL TO THE  SUPER BOWL NIGHT "…don’t you get it.

….Geezus….shiiiitttt …Eddie screamed….no wonder you have your bar area so full…and we were so happy we’d hired you…we thought you were a crack of a waiter….

...Next thing I know …I was in the kitchen back door …facing the trash containers…my lower back was aching…Eddie just explained me ….graphically …how they start the game at the Super bowl …

Also Eddie told me I that had to give him my tips to recover some of the chili con carne money cost.

And he fired me…yup..I got fired…that’s is the meaning of the laser rays coming from Eddies eyes …FIRE ¡¡¡¡

…I did learned a few things that night.

One is ...that there is a sport called NFL or American football. No rugby.

….Superbowl is a trophy…like the Roland Garros salad bowl that Rafael Nadal bites in the pics.

….Superbowl is not necessarily a huge recipient.

And the most important lesson…keep your money in different places….shoes...pockets and underwear.

Poor me….I got fired….but poor Eddie…he only got back 35 $. They were in my wallet.

He got 35 dollars…and a dumb faced waiter look… that he will always remember… 

My back also remembered Eddie for some time….and also remembered Jerry Rice…and Joe Montana…

And chili con carne…

""