"I sit with u in the dark until u see the light."
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Choosing the nursing profession has been a very personal choice for me. I have always loved helping people in any way that I could, and what better way to help someone then when they really need it. I have been in the medical part of nursing for the last 12 years, but now I have chosen a new path, which is to assist people with their mental health.
I came from a family that had a bipolar and schizophrenic mother, an alcoholic suicidal father and an alcoholic schizophrenic brother, all of whom also used other substances all of their lives. When I was in my nursing clinicals to get my RN, I actually found my mother as a patient by chance at one of my clinical sites. At that time I was too new to the psyche profession and when she turned away from me and refused to talk to me, I was sent home and I internalized all of it.
I thought that I made her crazy with our dysfunctional relationship instead of understanding that her mental illness did not allow for a therapeutic relationship with much of anyone. This is why I ran and hid in medical nursing for 12 years. Although I was absolutely in love with psychological nursing class, when I saw my mother with messy hair and paper blue scrubs in one of the psychiatric hospitals, it all became too real for me too fast and I did not cope well with it at that time.
I have now come full circle as I have matured in my career and do not take my family's problems so personal. I can now embrace my mental health role in assisting people who want to be helped, and that is the true difference. For me this position was a long time coming, and I am glad it is finally here.
I am excited for what the future has in store for me, and I know that as long as I fully immerse myself in helping others, I will be completely fulfilled as a person.
inpatient and outpatient psychiatric assessment, diagnosing and prescribing for mental health patients and also prescribing for addiction medication including harm reduction MAT services.
PMHNP-BC
